컴맹탈출과 영어정복

Dirty Sexy Weekend (음란한 섹시한 주말을 보내며)

My first girl-on-girl experience took place in college with my roommate, Mercy (제 첫번째 여성과의 경험은 저의 동거녀인, Mercy와 대학시절에 있었다) . We were graduating and we'd gotten really (우린 졸업을 앞두고 있었고 정말로 파티에 취해있었다) ripped at a party. The next thing I knew (내가 기억하는 그 다음 것은) , we were in someone's bed on a pile of coats, making out (우린 옷이 쌓여 있는 누군가의 침대에서 사랑을 나누고 있었던 일이다) . Neither of us felt weird the next morning and we actually laughed about it (우린 아무도 다음날 아침 이상한 느낌을 갖지 않았고 사실 그것에 관해 웃음만 나왔다) , but we lost touch after graduation (하지만 졸업후 연락이 끊겼다) . Every now and then I'd think about (이따금 그녀에 관해 생각하곤했고) her and wonder what it would have been like to do more than just kiss (단지 입맞춤 이상의 뭔가와 같은 것을 했었으면하고 어땔을까) .

About five years later, I ran into Mercy (5년후, 전 우연히 Mercy를 만났다) . I'd just started a new job, and she worked a few blocks away from me. (전 막 새 직장을 얻었고 그녀는 나와 약간 떨어진 곳에서 일을 했죠) We went out a few times after work (우린 퇴근 후, 몇번 외출을 했다) , then one day she invited me over to her place for the weekend to watch movies (그러던 어느날 그녀는 주말에 영화를 자신의 집에서 보자며 날 초대했다) while her husband was away visiting family (그녀의 남편은 가족을 방문하러 가더 차였다) . When Mercy and I were roommates in college (Mercy와 전 대학에서 룸메이트였을 때,) , we used to host movie-marathon (저흰 영화마라톤주말의 파티를 열곤했죠) weekends, which meant we had a constant flow of friends coming and going at all hours who brought pizza, beer, whine (늘 수없이 오가는 친구들은 피자, 맥주, 포도주 그리고 많은 음식을 가져오는 파티입니다) , and lots of joints. Each marathon had a theme, and no film was off-limits, including X-rated (그 마라톤파티마다 주제가 있었고, 영화는 X등급을 포함하여 제한이 없었죠) . I had really missed those (참 그리웠습니다) marathon weekends, and since my boyfriend isn't into films (제 남자친구는 영화에 관심이 없었기 때문에) , I jumped at the invite (전 그 파티에 빠졌죠) .

I pushed my hips toward her (전 제 힙을 그녀에게로 밀어) , straining to get even closer to her mouth (그녀의 입에 더더욱 가까이 대고 꽉 죄면서) , wanting to feel her fingers tunnel into me (그녀의 손가락이 내 안으로 들어오는 느낌을 원했죠) .

On Friday afternoon (금요일 오후) , I was waiting outside my office building with my overnight bag (전 작은 여행가능을 들고 제 직장사무실 바꾸에서 기다리고 있었죠) when Mercy drove up (그때 Mercy가 차를 갖고 왔죠) . We made a quick stop for wine and pizza before heading over to her house (저흰 그녀의 집으로 향하기전 포도주와 피자를 사기위해 재빨리 차를 세웠죠) . It wasn't until we'd had a couple of glasses of wine and (2잔의 포도주와 피자반을 먹었을 때 바로) eaten half the pizza that I asked what movies she had (전 무슨 영화를 갖고 있는지를 물어봤습니다) . Mercy smiled and said that it was a surprise (Mercy는 미소를 짓더니 놀랄운 영화를 말해죠) . Then she pressed the Play button on the remote and one of our favorite pornos started (그리고 나서 리모콘으로 틀고 나니 우리가 가장 좋아하는 포르노가 시작되었죠) . I remembered it because it had one of the hottest (그 영화는 가장 뜨거운 여성들간의 포르노였기 때문에 잊혀지지가 않았죠) girl-on-girl scenes.

We started watching, and maybe it was the wine or the fact that I hadn't seen the film in a long time, but by the end, (우린 보기 시작했고 아마 포도주였나 내가 오랫동안 보지못한 영화란 사실때문일까 그러나 결국)  I was really horny (전 흥분이 되었죠) . I told her I might have to make a trip to the bathroom to relieve the tension (난 그녀에게 긴장을 풀려고 화장실 좀 가야할 것 같아라고 말했죠) , but she just smiled slyly (그러나 그녀는 음흉하게 웃으며) and said we'd have a hell of a lot more fun it we got each other off (말하기를 우리 서로 잊고 있었던 많은 더 재밌는 것을 했었잖아) . I wasn't really shocked by her comment (전 그녀의 말에 전혀 충격을 받지 않았죠) . After all, we'd already kissed - she was just suggesting we take things to the next level (결국, 우린 이미 입맞춤을 했고 - 그녀는 다음 단계를 제안하고 있었습니다) .

we undressed and sat facing each other on the couch (옷을 벗고 소파 위에서 서로를 보면서 앉았죠) . Then we brought our fingers to each other's pussy (그때 우린 서로의 손가락을 서로의 성기에 가져갔고) and began rubbing each other's clit (서로의 음액을 애무하기 시작했습니다) . I love touching my own clit, but feeling Mercy's and seeing the look on her face (전 제 음핵을 만지는 것을 좋아하고 Mercy의 것도 느끼고 그녀의 표정을 보았죠) - which must have mirrored my own - was so erotic (분명 비쳐진 내 자신의 모습은 아주 흥분적것 이었을 거예요) . When I slid my fingers inside her, then back to her love button (내 손가락을 그녀 안쪽으로 미끄러트렸을 때, 전 그녀의 클리톨리스를 애무했죠) . Mercy moaned and fell back on the cushions (Mercy는 신음하며 쿠션 위로 쓰러졌죠) . I lay beside her and sucked on her stiff nipple (전 그녀 옆에 누워 그녀의 흥분되어 딱딱해진 젖꼭지를 빨았죠) while my fingers moved in and out of her sodden (그러는 동안 제 손가락은 그녀의 흠뻑 젖은 성기를 안으로 밖으로 애무했죠) pussy, making her body writhe against mine (그녀의 몸은 내쪽으로 비틀게 하면서) . Minutes later, Mercy cried out, thrusting her hips against my hand (잠시후, Mercy는 소리를 질러대며 자신의 힙을 내손에 맡겼죠) . I've always loved the feeling of coming on my own fingers (전 늘 제 손가락에 느껴지는 감촉을 좋아합니다) , but it was nothing compared to Mercy's tight pussy bathing my hand in the (하지만 그건 오르가즘의 격정 속에서 내 손을 젖시는 Mercy의 빡빡한 자궁과 비교가 되진 않았죠) throes of orgasm.

Still breathing erratically (여전히 괴상한 숨을 몰아 쉬면서) , Mercy kissed me, swirling her tongue around mine (Mercy는 나에게 키스를 해댔고 내 혀를 자신의 혀로 휘둘렀죠) before stopping to tell me now good I'd made (제가 그녀를 느끼게 한 좋은 기분을 말하기 전) her feel and how she wanted to do the same for me (나에게도 어떻게 같은 것을 해줄까라고 말하기 전) . I was more than ready (전 기꺼이 받아들었고) , and told her she could do whatever she (그녀에게 내 몸을 맡긴다고 말을했습니다) wanted to make me come.

Mercy rolled me onto my back (Mercy는 내 등위로 날 굴리고) , knelt between my legs (내 다리 사이로 무릅을 꿇고) , and dragged her tongue over my clit (자신의 혀로 내 클리톨리스를 닳았다) . My body instantly tingled (내 몸은 순간적으로 흥분이 되었고) , and I felt a shudder race through me (나를 통하는 전율의 맛을 느꼈다) . Mercy looked up at me as her lips and tongue had a free-for-all on my clit (Mercy는 입술과 혀를 네 클리톨리스 위에서 자유로이 활개치면서 위쪽으로 나를 바라 보았다) , and her fingers relentlessly probed and stroked (그리고 자신의 손가락은 가차없이 더듬고 어루만졌다) until she turned and pressed them against my G-spot (그녀가 나의 지스팟을 손가락으로 돌리고 누를 때까지) . Then all hell broke loose (그때 큰 혼란(황홀함)이 일어났다) as I pushed my hips toward her (내가 힙프를 그녀로 향해 밀었을 때) , straining to get even closer to her mouth (그녀의 입쪽으로 더 가까이 대고자 압박하면서) , wanting to feel her fingers tunnel into me as deep as (그녀의 손가락이 가능한한 깊게 내 안으로 터널을 꿇는 느낌을 원하면서) they could go. I cried out and thrashed against the cushions (나는 소리치며 쿠션으로 내 몸을 부수었다(내 던졌다)) as my body quaked with pleasure (내 몸이 쾌락으로 전율하는 동안) .

The rest of the weekend was filled with more porn and sex than I'd had in the past two weeks with my boyfriend (나머지 주말은 남자친구와 지난 2주간 가졌던 것 보다 더 많은 포르노와 섹스로 가득채워졌다) , but neither of us plans on giving up our men of filling them in on our extracurricular fun just yet (그렇다고 우리들 중 어느 누구도 우리의 특별과외수업의 쾌락을 채워주는 우리 남자를 포기할 계획은 없다) . For now we've decided to have more nights together like the one I've just described (당분간 제가 방금 설명한 것같이 더 많은 밤을 함께 보내기로 하였다) . - C.S., Minnesota

Hi, this is Alysa. I want to tell you that I love having a man's cock inside my ass more than anything else. With the first guy who fucked me back there, it was his idea, however, it's been my idea with every other guy since then. Some guys are really surprised that a girl even think about things like that. Their first reaction is always, "You... want it there?"

Hi, this is Alysa (안녕하세요, 전 앨리사입니다.) . I want to tell you that I love having a man's cock inside my ass more than anything else (제가 한 남성의 성기를 내 항문 안에 넣는 것은 다른 어떤 것 보다도 더 좋아한다고 여러분께 말하고 싶군요) . With the first guy who fucked me back there (제가 뒤쪽에서 성교를 한 첫 남자와) , it was his idea, however (그러나 그것은 그의 생각이었죠) , it's been my idea with every other guy since then (그것은 그때 이후로 모든 다른 남자들과 함께하는 제 생각이 되었지요) . Some guys are really surprised that a girl even think about things like that (어떤 남성들은 여자가 그런 것을 생각하다니 깜짝 놀람답니다.) . Their first reaction is always, "You... want it there? (그들의 첫번째 반응은 늘 "당신 그쪽에서 그걸원해요?"라고) "

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- cock : (남성의) 성기 / ass : 항문 / fuck : ~와 성교하다

I'm always careful how I tell a guy what I want, or else he'll freak out. Sometimes he won't think I'm serious. Yet, after I suck on his balls, lick his cock, and stick my tongue up his ass - he knows I'm a lot sluttier than I look; especially after I've got my tongue inside his asshole. That's the moment that he really figures out that I'm for real. I've found anything else that'll loose a guy up quite as fast. Once I do that - all bets are off. I guess that's why I'm not like most girls. A lot of girls I know just want to get it over with. I, on the other hand, want sex to be hot, sweaty and crazy!

I'm always careful how I tell a guy what I want, or else he'll freak out (저는 늘 조심스럽죠 어떻게 한 사내에게 내가 좋아하는 것을 말할까 그가 기겁을 하지 않을까) . Sometimes he won't think I'm serious (때때로 그는 제가 심각하다고 생각지 않을 거예요) . Yet, after I suck on his balls, lick his cock, and stick my tongue up his ass (그렇지만, 내가 그의 고환을 빨고, 그의 성기를 핱고, 내 혀로 그의 항문에 달라 붙이고 난 후) - he knows I'm a lot sluttier than I look (그는 제가 보기 보단 아주 단정치 못하다는 것을 알아요) ; especially after I've got my tongue inside his asshole (특히 제 혀를 그의 항문 안으로 집어 넣은 후에) . That's the moment that he really figures out that I'm for real (그 때가 바로 제가 진짜의 것을 원하는구나라고 그가 진정 이해하는 순간이죠) . I've found anything else that'll loose a guy up quite as fast (저는 남자를 아주 빨리 긴장을 풀어주는 방법을 찾았죠) . Once I do that - all bets are off (일단 그래고 나니, 모든 (나쁜) 추측이 사라졌죠) . I guess that's why I'm not like most girls (그것이 제가 대부분의 여자아이들과 다른 이유죠) . A lot of girls I know just want to get it over with (제가 아는 많은 여자들은 그걸 원하지 않아요) . I, on the other hand, want sex to be hot, sweaty and crazy! (반면, 저는 뜨겁고 땀이 나고 광적인 섹스를 원하죠! )

- I've found 현재 완료(결과)

- freak out (비격식) 기겁을 하다[하게 만들다] / sluttish (여성이) 단정치 못한 / loose up 긴장을 풀어주다 / bet (비격식) 짐작, 추측 / get over with ~을 끝내다

Even though I'm such an anal freak, I still have to get ready for it. It's not really very good for quickies, if you get my drift. I need a comfortable place, like a bedroom setting. It helps if we loosen up first with a few drinks. I need to feel secure about the man I'm with, first and foremost. He's got to be loving and gentle; and turn me on in just the right ways, because lots of foreplay is a must! Since my second favorite thing (after getting butt fucked) is giving head - my pussy always gets really wet when I deep throat a guy, and feel my lower lip against his super-hot balls.

Even though I'm such an anal freak (제가 애널섹스광일 지라도,) , I still have to get ready for it. (저는 여전히 철저히 준비를 해야한답니다) It's not really very good for quickies (그것은 성급히 서두르는 사람에겐 좋지 않아요) , if you get my (만일 당신이 나의 빠는 힘을 얻고 싶다면) drift. I need a comfortable place, like a bedroom setting (저는 침실(환경)과 같은 안락한 곳이 필요해요) . It helps if we loosen up first with a few drinks (우선 약간을 술을 마시며 긴장을 풀는 것은 도움이 됩니다) . I need to feel secure about the man I'm with (저와 함께 있는 남자에게 안전함을 느낄 필요가 있어요) , first and foremost (다른 무엇보다도 더) . He's got to be loving and gentle (그는 사랑스럽고 다정해야 합니다) ; and turn me on in just the right ways (바로 그렇게 저를 황홀하게 해주죠) , because lots of foreplay is a must (왜냐하면 많은 저희는 필수이니까요) ! Since my second favorite thing (after getting butt fucked) is giving head (제 궁둥이로 섹스를 한 후, 제가 두번째로 좋아하는 것은 입으로 애무를 해주는 것이죠) - my pussy always gets really wet when I deep throat a guy (내가 그 사람의 것을 목구멍 깊이 넣을 때, 제 자궁은 늘 촉촉하답니다) , and feel my lower lip against his super-hot balls (그리고 제 아랫 잎술은 그의 굉장히 뜨거운 고환을 느낀답니다) .

- get + 사물  + p.p : 사물이 p.p되어지게 하다

- freak ~광, 괴짜, 괴물(같은 사람) / quickie : 빨리[잠깐] 하는 것 / drift : 미는 힘, 추진력 / loosen up : 긴장을 풀다 / foreplay 전희 / butt 궁둥이 / give head 입으로 애무를 해 주다 / pussy 여자의 성기(vulva) / throat 목구멍 깊이 넣다

That way, I can let him put his cock inside my pussy and get him nice and slippery, so that when he pulls out and goes right into my asshole, he'll slide in really easy. I'll work him inside me very gently and let my muscles loosen up as he goes deeper. If I'm with a guy with a really big cock - like Matt - I'm able to handle him pretty well, just as long as I get super-relaxed first.

That way (그와 같이) , I can let him put his cock inside my pussy (저는 그가 자신의 성기를 내 자궁 안으로 넣게하고) and get him nice and slippery (그가 멋지고 미끈한 느낌을 갖게 하죠) , so that when he pulls out and goes (그리하여 그가 성기를 꺼내 바로 제 항문으로 넣을 때,) right into my asshole, he'll slide in really easy (그는 아주 쉽게 안으로 미끄러 들어 오지요) . I'll work him inside me very gently (저는 그가 내 안으로 아주 부드럽게 들어와 섹스하게 한답니다) and let my muscles loosen up as he goes (그리고 그가 더욱 깊게 들어 올땐 제 근육을 느슨히 풀어 줍니다) deeper. If I'm with a guy with a really big cock - like Matt (만일 Matt와 같이 아주 큰 물건을 갖은 남자와 함께 있을 땐,) - I'm able to handle him pretty well (저는 그가 잘하도록 도와줄 수 있죠) , just as long as I get (제가 우선 최고 편안한 느낌을 갖고 동안) super-relaxed first.

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- that way 그와 같이

That's why I spend so much time sucking on his pole. With some guys, they can't handle me doing that very long and they'll cum in my mouth - and then they aren't worth anything to me. So, I really do prefer guys like Matt who have plenty of staying power. I know I can suck Matt's prick for an hour without having to worry about surprises, and then when he's ready to fuck my ass, he can do it for a half-hour, which is about the length of time that I can stand. After 30 minutes of getting my ass fucked, I'm completely out of my mind!

That's why I spend so much time sucking on his pole (그것이 제가 그의 성기를 빠는 시간을 많이 할애하는 이유죠) . With some guys (어떤 사내들에게) , they can't handle me doing that very long (그들은 제가 그렇게 오래하는 것을 감당하지 못해) and they'll cum in my mouth (제 안에 사정을 하죠) - and then they aren't worth anything to me (그러면 전 너무 허무하답니다) . So, I really do prefer guys like Matt who have plenty (그래서 전 오랫동안 참을 힘이 있는 Matt와 같은 남자가 정말 좋아요) of staying power. I know I can suck Matt's prick for an hour without having to worry about surprises (저는 Matt의 성기를 놀랄 걱정없이 한 시간동안 빨 수 있답니다) , and then when he's ready to fuck my ass (그리고 나서 그가 내 항문에 섹스할 준비가 되었을 때) , he can do it for a half-hour (그는 한 시간동안 할 수 있죠) , which is about the length of time that I can stand (제가 감당할 수 있는 시간이랍니다.) . After 30 minutes of getting my ass fucked (30분간의 항문섹스를 한 후,) , I'm completely out of my mind! (저는 완저히 미칠지경에 이른답니다)

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- cum 사정하다 / prick 음경 / out of one's mind 미친

Musings from the bed of Pamela

Plus: Ms. Anderson's Never-before-seen nude portfolio

A crimson wine from my lips, drips intoxication... The war is over... The new Sexual Revolution is in direct proportion to our cultural freedom. Political ramifications and... Potentially the lost art form of selfless sensuality... Caring... Letting go - giving with abandon...

We can't let the Beats down... Those and many others set the stage for more raw uncensored pose... A meaningful life...

The youth... The wild that rose up from the ashes. The adults... Living and dead that fought for our rights... Artists... Sweet artists... Hold on... Crazy, the world goes... And goes...

Musings from the bed of Pamela (침대위 파멜라의 사색)

Plus: Ms. Anderson's Never-before-seen nude portfolio (보더스 : 본적없는 앤더슨의 누드 작품집)

A crimson wine from my lips, drips intoxication... The war is over... (제 입술로 부터 진홍색 포도주가 (여러분을 흥부시키기 위해) 방울방울 떨어집니다... 이제 전재은 끝났지요...)   The new Sexual Revolution is in direct proportion to (새로운 성의 혁명이 우리 문화자유와 정비례하여 일어납니다)  our cultural freedom. Political ramifications and... (정치적 파문 그리고...) Potentially the lost art form of selfless sensuality... Caring... Letting go - giving with abandon...

We can't let the Beats down... Those and many others set the stage for more raw uncensored pose... A meaningful life...

The youth... The wild that rose up from the ashes. The adults... Living and dead that fought for our rights... Artists... Sweet artists... Hold on... Crazy, the world goes... And goes...

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- portfolio : 서류 가방, (특히 구직 때 제출하는 사진, 그림 등의) 작품집 / crimson 진홍색 / drip 방울방울[뚝뚝] 흐리다[떨어지다/듣다] / intoxication 취함, 극도의 흥분, 도취 / in direct proportion to ~에 정비례해서 / ramification 파문, 영향(어떤 행동, 결정에 따라 생기는, 예상 밖의 복잡한 여러 결과, 영향들 중 하나)

Playboy Advisor

My father cheated, my friends cheat, and I am ashamed to say I have cheated. I do not want to cheat anymore. Is there a medical procedure to curb my appetites? Would having a testicle removed do anything? - D.S., Sand Diego, California.

My father cheated, my friends cheat, and I am ashamed to say I have cheated (저희 아빠도 속이고 내 친구들도 속이고 저 (또한) 사기치고 있다고 말하는 것이 부끄럽습니다) . I do not want to cheat anymore (저는 더 이상 속이고 싶지 않아요) . Is there a medical procedure to curb my appetites? (저의 욕구를 억제할 의료시술이 있을까요?) Would having a testicle removed do anything? (고환을 제거하는 것은 어떤 (도움이) 될까요?) - D.S., Sand Diego, California (캘리포니아 샌디에고에서) .

- I have cheated : (현재완료 계속) 속이는 일을 계속하고 있다 / have + 목적어(사물) + p.p : 목적어(사물) ~되어지게 하다

- be ashamed to ~을 부끄럽게 여기다 / curb : 자제하다 / testicle : 고환

Don't remove anything. Research suggests genetics plays a role in men cheating, but it's nothing a concept known as free will can't overcome. In 2008 scientists at the Karolineska Institute in Stockholm found men with one or two copies of a specific gene variant, or allele, had up to twice the disk of experiencing marital dysfunction, including a recent threat of divorce, compared with men carrying no copies.

Don't remove anything (아무 사고도 치지마세요) . Research suggests genetics plays a role in men cheating (유전은 남성의 속임에 영향을 미친다고 연구는 암시합니다) , but it's nothing a concept known as free (하지만 자유로운 것으로서 알려진 개념은 극복할 수 없을 것이라는 것도 아닙니다) will can't overcome. In 2008 scientists at the Karolineska Institute in Stockholm found (2008년 스톡홀롬에 있는 Karolineska연구소의 과학자들은 ~ 발견했습니다.) men with one or two copies of a (1개 또는 2개의 대립 형질인 특별한 유전변형 복제물을 갖고 있는 남성들은) specific gene variant, or allele, had up to twice the disk of experiencing marital dysfunction (결혼장애를 경험하는 원반조직이 두 배 이상 갖고 있다라는 것을) , including a recent threat of (이혼의 이혼위험성을 포함하여) divorce, compared with men carrying no copies (그 복제물을 갖고 있지 않은 남성들과 비교하여) .

- but it's nothing (that) a concept [known as free] will : that이 생략된 구문임

- play a role : 역할을 하다 / variant : 변형 / allele : (생물) 대립 형질[유전자] / dysfunction : 기능장애 / disk : 원반 조직

However, about 15 percent of that group of naturally devoted husbands also reported discord, so environmental factors such as religious beliefs and family background certainly play a role. But let's say the research leads to a pill or shot to suppress the adultery instinct. As the novelist Walter Kirn has observed, "The problem with a drug that makes us be good is that being good, when it comes naturally, isn't that big an achievement, morally speaking."

However, about 15 percent of that group of naturally devoted husbands also reported discord (그러나, 본래 헌신적인 남편들의 그 집단의 15%는 또안 불화를 격었다고 알렸습니다.) , so environmental factors such as religious beliefs and family background certainly play a role (그래서 종교적인 믿음과 가족의 배경같은 환경적인 요인들은 확실하게 영향을 끼침니다.) . But let's say the research leads to a pill or shot to suppress (그러나 예를 들어 그 연구는 알약이나 주사가 간음본능을 억누르기 위해서 가능하다고 합니다) the adultery instinct. As the novelist Walter Kirn has observed (소설가인 Walter Kirn는 말한봐에 따르면) , " The problem with a drug that makes us be good is that (우리는 온순하게 만드는 약의 문제는 ~것입니다) being good, when it comes naturally, isn't that big an achievement, morally speaking (자연적으로, 온순해지는 것은 도덕적으로 말해 그렇게 큰 성과는 아니라는) ."

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- let's say : 예를 들면

In other words, no one admires a eunuch for his self-control. Further, Kirn predicts men, "most in need of a monogamy injection would be the least inclined to have one," and that women could "lock down" partners by insisting on an injection before they agree to sex. Even if you could take a pill, he notes, you'd still feel bad - men feel regret when we stray but also when we don't because of all the other women we could be having sex with but aren't.

In other words (바꾸어 말하면) , no one admires a eunuch for his self-control (아무도 내시가 자제력있기 때문에 그를 존경하진 않습니다) . Further (더욱) , Kirn predicts men, "most in need of a monogamy (Kirl은 대부분 일부일처제 주사를 필요로 하는 남성들은 ~ 예견합니다) injection would be the least inclined to have one (적어도 그 주사를 맞을 싶어할 것이라) ," and that women could "lock down" partners by insisting on an injection (그리하여 여성들은 주사를 맞게하는 것으로 파트너를 억제시킬 것입니다.) before they agree to sex (그들이 섹스에 동의하기 전) . Even if you could take a pill (비록 당신이 알약을 복용할 수 있을지라도) , he notes, you'd still feel bad (당신은 여전히 나쁜 기분을 느낄것이라 지적합니다) - men feel regret when we stray (즉, 남성들은 우리가 길을 벗어날 때나 ~ 후회합니다) but also when we don't (우리가 길을 벗어나지 않을 때도) because of all the other women we could be having sex with but aren't (우리가 섹스를 할 수 있지만 (실제로) 할 수 없는 모든 다른 여성들 때문에) .

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- eunuck : 환관, 내시 / monogamy injection :

Eros

The first time I ever got really turned on giving a blow job I was 22, on a date with a man I barely knew but liked a lot. It was night, in a parking lot after a Bad Brains show, and he leaned against the hood of my car while I got on my knees. We could have been strangers - we almost were - and somehow the darkness, the anonymity of the situation liberated me from worrying about doing something wrong or feeling self-conscious. I allowed myself to sink deep into the fantasy of what it must feel like for him - the pressure, the warmth, the wetness. All of a sudden the only thing in the world was that cock and my connection to it.

Eros (성적욕구)

The first time I ever got really turned on giving a blow job (내가 구강섹스에 처음 눈을 뜬 건) I was 22 (~ 22살 때였다) , on a date with a man I barely knew but liked a lot (거의 알지 못했지만 많이 좋아한 한 남자와의 데이트 할인) . It was night, in a parking lot after a Bad Brains show (그 땐 한 Bad Brains쇼가 끝난 후 어느 주차장에서 밤중이었다.) , and he leaned against the hood of my car (그는 내 차의 본네트에 기대었다) while I got on my knees (내가 무릎을 꿇고 있는 동안) . We could have been strangers (우린 서로에 어색할 수 도 있었다) - we almost were (우린 거의 서로를 몰랐다) - and somehow the darkness, the anonymity of the situation (그래서 약깐 어두운 곳, 아무도 모르는 곳은) liberated me (나를 해방시켜 주었다) from worrying about doing something wrong or feeling self-conscious (잘못된 짓을 하고 있다거나 양심에 가책을 느낀는 걱정으로 부터) . I allowed myself to sink deep into the fantasy of (나는 내 자신이 ~ 황홀경 깊숙이 빨아들이도록 했다) what it must feel like for him - the pressure, the warmth, the wetness (그들 위한 압력, 따뜻함, 촉촘함을 느껴야만 하는) . All of a sudden (갑짜기) the only thing in the world was (이 세상에 유일한 것은 ~였다) that cock and my connection to it (그 사람의 성기와 그것의 결합) .

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- blow job : 구강섹스 / turn on : ~에 흥미를 끌다 / barely : 거의 ~아니게[없이]

Before that night I had been wary of the blow job, thought of it as something you "gave" someone, like a gift. Or, occasionally, as something that had to be done as a duty. It was just that I was unsure of cock when I got up close to one; it contained unreadable male mysteries. I might hurt it or maybe just do nothing right. Maybe I looked ridiculous. I didn't really know what parts of it wanted to be touched, or how. It seemed to be its own creature, almost uncannily separate from the man who owned it. Perhaps simpleminded but authoritarian and judgemental.

Before that night (그날 밤 전까만 해도) I had been wary of the blow job (나는 구강성교를 경계하였었다) , thought of it as something you "gave" someone, like a gift (그것은 선물로써 누군가에서 주는 것으로 생각했었다) . Or (또는) , occasionally, as something that had to be done as a duty (때때로 의무로서 해줘야만 하는 것으로) . It was just that I was unsure of cock when I got up close to one (아주 가까이서 성기를 일으켜세울 때 난 성기를 몰랐던 것이 맞다) ; it contained unreadable male mysteries (그건 헤야릴 수 없는 남성의 신비를 간직했다) . I might hurt it or maybe just do nothing right (내가 그것에 상처를 입히지나 않을까 나쁜짓이 아닐까) . Maybe I looked ridiculous (아마도 내 자신이 어리석어 보였다) . I didn't really know what parts of it wanted to be touched, or how (난 성기의 어느 부분이 또는 어떻게 애무를 원하는지를 정말로 몰랐다) . It seemed to be its own creature (그것은 ~ 그것 자체의 생명체인 것 같았다) , almost uncannily separate from the man who owned it (그것을 소유한 남성과 신비롭게 분리되어 있는) . Perhaps simpleminded but authoritarian and judgemental (아마도 순진하지만 권위적이고 주관적인 것 같았다) .

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- wary of : 경계하는 / get up 일으켜 세우다 / close to : 아주 가까이 / uncannily : 초자연적으로, 신비적으로 /

Many of my friends, or at least the ones who talked about fellatio, often described it as something distasteful or as a reward to bestow or even a means of controlling a man. My friends talked about feeling uncomfortable, being alone with a part of your boyfriend that was him but was not him. I understood; there could be something lonely about the act, something that made you feel disconnected from your partner. It was easy to imagine you were just an appendage to masturbation.

Many of my friends, or at least the ones who talked about fellatio (나의 많은 친구들이나 적어도 구강성교에 관한 얘기를 한 친구들은) , often described it as something distasteful (종종 그것을 불쾌한 것으로 또는 ~으로 묘사했다) or as a reward to bestow or even a means of controlling a man (바칠 보상 또는 심지어 남성을 통제할 수단) . My friends talked about feeling uncomfortable (내 친구들은 ~ 불안한 느낌에 관해 얘기했다) , being alone with a part of your boyfriend that was him but was not him (그이지만 그가 아닌 남자친구의 일부와 동떨어 있는 둣한) . I understood (난 이해했다) ; there could be something lonely about the act (~ 행위에 관한 외로운 무언가가 있을 수 있다) , something that made you feel disconnected from your partner (당신이 파트너와 단절되는 느낌을 주는 무언가와 같은) . It was easy to imagine you were just an appendage to (당신의 자위행위에 부속물이라고 상상하기 싶다) masturbation.

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- fellatio : 구강성교

But starting that night in the parking lot I began to understand the profound, dirty pleasure of giving blow jobs. It isn't just that I discovered how much I like being in control, how much I like giving the kind of pleasure that makes someone helpless and how intoxicating it is to be on the receiving end of hurricane-levels of desire. But, that night, it was also the revelation of the particular male smell you get up close with a cock and balls that turned me on in ways that are almost beyond description. It was like being inside sex.

But starting that night in the parking lot (주차장에서 그날 밤 (일을) 시작하면서) I began to understand the profound, dirty pleasure of giving blow jobs (구강성교가 주는 심오하고 더러운 쾌감을 이해하기 시작했다) . It isn't just that I discovered how much I like being in control (내가 얼만큼의 자재력을 발견했는지에 관한 것은 아니다) , how much I like giving the kind of pleasure that makes someone (얼마만큼 내가 누군가를 무력하게 만드는 쾌감을 주기를 좋아하는지) helpless and how intoxicating it is to be on the receiving end of hurricane-levels of desire (허리케인 수준의 엄청난 욕망을 받는 끝이 얼마나 도취시키는지) . But, that night (하지만, 그날밤) , it was also the revelation of the particular male smell you get up close (그것은 또한 당신을 아주 깨어나게 하는 특별한 남성의 냄새의 발견이었다) with a cock and balls that turned me on (나를 도취시킨 성기와 고환으로) in ways that are almost beyond description (거의 말로 표현할 수 없는 방식에서) . It was like being inside sex (그것을 섹스를 하는 것과 같았다) .

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- profound : 심오한 / it isn't just that : ~만은 아니다 / intoxicating : 도취시키는 / revelation : 뜻밖의 발견 / beyond description : 형용할 수 없는

Plato said that human beings can only truly access the Divine through sexual ecstasy, Eros. This has always made so much sense to me. When else are humans as rapt by feeling as when they come and when they touch God? That feeling of connection to the universal, the feeling of having exited my own body as I orgasm is nothing other than touching the infinite.

Plato said that human beings can only truly access the Divine through sexual ecstasy, Eros (플라톤은 말하길 인간은 성적인 황홀함, 즉 에로스를 통해서 만 천국에 진정으로 접근할 수 있다고 했다) . This has always made so much (이 말은 늘 나에게 너무나 많은 의미즐 주고 있다) sense to me. When else are humans as rapt by feeling as when they come and when they touch God (그외에 언제 인간은 그들이 와서 신을 만질 때처럼 황홀함을 느낄까?) ? That feeling of connection to the universal (우주와의 결함의 그 느낌) , the feeling of having exited my own body as I orgasm (내 자신의 육체를 나의 오르가즘처럼 흥분시킨 느낌은) is nothing other than touching the (단지 무한함을 만지는 것이다) infinite.

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- rapt : rap의 p.p, 황홀하게 하다 / nothing other than = nothing but = only

Yet I have never been able to get close to that Platonic, out-of-my-mind kind of sexual ecstasy unless I can satisfy a primal hunger: Whether in fantasy or reality, I need a connection to another equally raunchy human being. It has always been the case with me, since I was a teenager, that I have to see someone else's horniness in order to feel horny. What I happily realized on my knees in the parking lot is that an erect cock in my face is among the most blatant ways of experiencing the realness of someone else's desire I'd ever encountered. And every time, it spurs a response in me, hot and dark as if I am doing something transgressive in the best possible way.

Yet I have never been able to get close to (그러나 나는 결코 ~접근한 적이 없다) that Platonic, out-of-my-mind kind of sexual ecstasy (그 플라토닉이자 마음을 초월한 성적인 황홀함에) unless I can satisfy a primal (내가 근본적인 배고품을 만족시킬수 없으면)  hunger: Whether in fantasy or reality (황홀함 속에 있든 현실에 있든) , I need a connection to another equally raunchy human being (나는 다른 똑같은 음란한 인간과의 결합을 필요로한다) . It has always been the (그것은 늘 나의 경우였다) case with me, since I was a teenager (10대 이후) , that I have to see someone else's horniness in order to feel horny (내가 성적으로 충분한 느낌을 갖기 위해서 다른 누군가의 성적만족을 봐야만 하는) . What I happily realized on my knees in the parking lot (내가 주차장에서 무릎을 꿇고 행복하게 깨달은 것은) is that an erect cock in my face is among the most blatant ways of (내 얼굴 앞에 있는 발기한 성기는 ~의 가장 용맹한 방식중에 하나이다) experiencing the realness of someone else's desire I'd ever encountered (내가 이제껏 만난적이 있는 다른 사람의 진실을 경험하는) . And every time (그리고 늘) , it spurs a response in me (그것은 내 내면의 반응을 자극한다) , hot and dark (음흉하고 신비스런) as if I am doing something transgressive in the best possible way (마치 내가 가장 가능한 방식에서 법을 어기기 쉬운 무언가를 하는 것처럼) .

- the case that I have to see .... : the case는 that절의 동격

- platonic : (육체관계를 하지 않은) 정신적인 사랑의, 플라토닉한 / raunchy : 음란한 / spur : 자극하다 / as if : 마치 ~인 것 처럼

But then there was the time I blew a friend of mine, when I discovered yet a new, more intense level of pleasure waiting for me in the blow job. My friend and I had known each other for years but had never been sexual until one night we wound up drunk, naked in his bed, mumbling about what a bad idea it was. All the awkwardness of being with a new person was made excruciating by the self-consciousness that I really knew this man - his quirks and peeves - the girls he found attractive, the complex relationship he had with his family and his career. But then a supple communication started between me and his penis as I began to suck, a communication beyond words and much deeper than any we had ever had before.

But then there was the time I blew a friend of mine, (그러나 그 이후 나는 친구 중 한 명을 자위시켜준 때가 있다) when I discovered yet a new, more intense level of pleasure (그때 나는 이제서야 ~새롭고 더욱 격렬한 쾌감을 발견했다) waiting for me in the blow job (자위를 해주는 나를 기다리는) . My friend and I had known each other for years (내 친구와 나는 수 년동안 알고 지내왔었다) but had never been sexual (하지만 결코 섹스를 한 적이 없었다) until one night we wound up drunk (술이 취한 어느날 밤 전까지) , naked in his bed (그의 침대에 벌거벗고) , mumbling about what a bad idea it was (그것은 참으로 나쁜 생각이라고 중얼거리면서) . All the awkwardness of being with a new (새로운 사람과의 모든 어색한 행위는) person was made excruciating by the self-consciousness that I really knew this man (내가 정말 이사람 알고 있다는 자의식에 의해 몹씨 괴로운 일이었다) - his quirks and peeves (그의 변덕과 짜증) - the girls he found attractive (그가 알게된 매력적인 여자들) , the complex relationship he had with his family and his career (그가 자신의 가족과 직업과 복잡한 관계) . But then a supple communication started (그러나 그때 나긋나긋한 대화가 시작되었다) between me and his penis as I began to suck (내가 빨기 시작한 그의 성기와 나 사이에) , a communication beyond words and much deeper than any we had ever had (말로 표현할 수 없고 우리가 전에 갖었었던 어느것 보다 더 깊은 의사소통) before.

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- intense : 격렬한 / mumble : 중얼거리다 / excruciating : 몹시 괴로운 / quirk : 변덕 / peeve : 짜증 / supple : 나긋나긋한, 비위를 맞추는

His cock felt so sexy in my mouth, hard and hot and aching with desire. But I could also feel how much of this man was being revealed to me: his sexuality, his vulnerability, his musky smell.

His cock felt so sexy in my mouth, hard and hot and aching with desire (그의 성기는 내 입속에서 너무나 섹시하고 욕망으로 뜨겁고 고통 느겼다) . But I could also feel how much of this man (그러나 이 사람의 얼마만큼은 나에게 보여 주고 있다는 것을 느낄 수 있었다) was being revealed to me: his sexuality, his vulnerability, his musky smell (그 성적욕망, 그의 연약함 그리고 그의 사향 냄새) .

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- vulnerability : 연약함 / musky : 사향 냄새가 나는

Soon the connection started to feel like a merging, as though I was experiencing that blow job too. It felt crazy, off-the-charts raunchy, to fantasize that I was not only giving head but getting it. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed by pure animal pleasure. I was so turned on that I came.

Soon the connection started to feel like a merging (곧 그 결합은 함께 된다는 느낌을 갖기 시작했다) , as though I was experiencing that blow job too (마치 내가 구성성교를 또한 경험하고 있는 것 처럼) . It felt crazy (그것은 광적이고 ~한 느낌이었다) , off-the-charts raunchy (틀에서 벗어난 음탕한) , to fantasize that I was not only giving head but getting it (내가 생명를 줄 뿐만아니라 생명을 얻는다고 공상하기 위해) . All of a sudden (갑짜기) I was overwhelmed by (나는 순수한 동물적 쾌감에 압도 되었다) pure animal pleasure. I was so turned on that I came (나는 너무나 황홀한 기분으로 돌아왔다) .

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- off-the-charts raunchy : 틀에서 벗어난 음탕한

Since that night's discovery I always revel in the double fantasy of giving and receiving. And I honor the wisdom of the old Greek philosophers who pointed out that although the Divine is inscrutable, it is easy to find while sucking on a dick.

Since that night's discovery (그날밤의 놀라운 발견이 있은 후) I always revel in the double fantasy of giving and receiving (나는 늘 주고 받는 이중적인 황홀함을 한껏 즐긴다) . And I honor the wisdom (그리하여 나는 ~의 지혜를 찬미한다) of the old Greek philosophers who pointed out (~라고 지적한 고대 그리스의 철학자들) that although the Divine is inscrutable (신을 헤아릴 수 없을 지라도) , it is easy to find while sucking on a dick (성기를 빨고 있는 동안 (신을) 찾는 것은 쉽다) .

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- the Divine : 신, 창조주 / inscrutable : 헤아릴 수 없는

Screen Play

The Ultimate Cyber-Library

Imagine having every PLAYBOY ever published, in one neat library. Now imagine that library shrinking enough to fit in the palm of your hand. Forget the human genome, this is serious technological innovation. The new Playboy Cover to Cover hard drive ($300, playboystore.com) plugs into your computer and offers every issue from 1953 through 2010, with keyword searchability. The women, the words, the legend.....

The Ultimate Cyber-Library (최고의 사이버 도서관)

Imagine having every PLAYBOY ever published, in one neat library (멋진 도서관에서 지금껏 출판된 모든 PLAYBOY를 갖고 있다고 상상해 보세요.) . Now imagine that (이제 ~을 상상해 보세요) library shrinking enough to fit in the palm of your hand (여러분의 손바닥에 안에 딱 드러맞을 만큼 줄어드는 도서관) . Forget the human genome (사람의 유전자 지도는 잊으세요) , this is serious technological innovation (이것은 중요한 기술적 혁신입니다.) . The new Playboy Cover to Cover hard drive ($300, playboystore.com) plugs into your computer (새로운 플레이보이 모든 것을 담은 하드드라이브($300, playboystore.com)를 당신의 컴퓨터에 연결해 드립니다.) and offers every issue (그리고 모든 호를 ~ 제공합니다) from 1953 through 2010, with keyword searchability (키워드 검색으로 1953부터 2010까지) . The women, the words, the legend (여성들, 단어들, 성인 이야기.....) .....

- imagine + ing : (과거)를 상상하다

- shrink : 줄어들게 하다 / human genome : 인간 유전체 / cover to cover : 처음부터 끝까지 / legend : 전설, (그림 등의) 제목, 성인 이야기

Humor

From the moment I met Bill, on my flight from Tucson to Dallas, I knew he was the perfect man. When most women rattle off a potential mate's must-have qualities, they usually include a decent job, sense of humor, good looks, a tongue with Parkinson's disease. My priorities are always a little different. "You have no computer and no cell phone at all?" I asked incredulously. "Nope," Bill shook his head, smiling. Bill, it turns out, was a member of the rare species of men known as Homo technophobiens. And if he played his cards right with me, he'd soon be Homo erectus.

From the moment I met Bill (내가 Bill을 만난 순간부터) , on my flight from Tucson to Dallas (내가 Tucson에서 Dallas로 가는 기내에서) , I knew he was the perfect man (나는 그가 완벽한 남성이라는 것을 알았다.) . When most women rattle off a potential mate's must-have qualities (대부분의 여성들이 미래의 배우자가 지녀야하는 특성들을 나열할 때) , they usually include a decent job (그들은 보통 괜찮은 직장, ~ 을을 포함시킨다) , sense of humor, good looks, a tongue with Parkinson's disease (유머감각, 준수한 외모, 전문적 지식을 갖은 언변) . My priorities are always a little different (나의 우선순위는 좀 다르다) . " You have no computer and no cell phone at all (당신은 컴퓨터나 휴대폰에 대해 전혀 상식이 없죠?) ?" I asked incredulously (난 의심하듯 물어 보았다) . "Nope," Bill shook his head, smiling ("아닙니다," Bill은 미소를 지우면 머리를 저었다.) . Bill, it turns out, was a member of the rare species of men known as Homo technophobiens (나중에 안봐로는, Bill은 첨단기술을 두려워하는 드문 사람의 일종이라는 것을) . And if he played his cards (만일 그가 카드를 한다면) right with me (나와 지금) , he'd soon be Homo erectus (그는 호모 에렉투스가 될 것이다) .

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- rattle something off : (기억하고 있는 내용을) 줄줄 말하다 / a tongue with Parkinson's disease : 파킨슨 병에 관한 언변(전문적인 지식) / incredulously : 의심하듯이 / Homo techonphobien : 첨단기술을 배우는 것을 두려워하는 사람 / Homo erectus : 호모 에렉투스(직립 원인) /

I moved as close to him as our first-class seats would allow. Bill went on to tell me he was Native American and didn't believe in modern technology. Whoa! A handsome 45-year-old man who didn't have a douchey screen name like machostudd69? A guy who had never heard the words "Your mail-box is full" except when the Sears catalog came? By the time that flight was over, in my mind I was the future Mrs. Dances With Wolves, and I was this close to taking out his Little Bighorn right there on the plane.

I moved as close to him as our first-class seats would allow (우리의 1등석 좌석이 허락하는 한 그에게 가까이 다가갔다) . Bill went on to tell me he was Native American (Bill은 자신은 미국태생이라 계속 말을 걸었고) and didn't believe in modern technology (현대 기술을 믿지 않는다고) . Whoa (와!) ! A handsome 45-year-old man who didn't have a douchey screen name like machostudd69? ((성관계시) 69자세와 같은 무례한 말 뜻도 모르는 중년의 남성?) A guy who had never heard the words "Your mail-box is full" ("우편함이 가득 찼다"라는 말도 모르는 남자?) except when the Sears catalog came? (Sears에서 보내온 물품책자가 왔다는 것 외에는) By the time that flight was over (거의 도착할 시간에 되었을 쯤에) , in my mind I was the future Mrs. Dances With Wolves (가슴속에 나는 미래의 "늑대와 춤"의 주인공의 부인이 되었다.) , and I was this close to taking out his Little Bighorn right there on the plane (그리고 나는 기내에서 그의 Little Bighorn(고향의 작은 강)을 꺼낼만큼 그와 친해졌다.) .

- as ‘형/부사’ as S + V : S가 V할 만큼 ‘형/부사’하게

- whoa : (감탄사) 우와 / douchey : 무려한 말의 / screen name : 닉네임

Why did I get so jazzed at Bill's lack of electronic savvy? The answer is easy: I was fresh out of the craziest relationship of my life, and I was looking for its opposite. My ex, Tommy, was an online playa who used the Net to stimulate his nads. He was the Don Juan of the web, the log-on lothario, the Adonis of AOL.

Why did I get so jazzed at Bill's lack of electronic savvy? (왜 내가 Bill의 부족한 전자상식에 너무나 재미를 갖었을까?) The answer is easy (그 해답은 쉬웠다) : I was fresh out of the craziest relationship of my life (난 내 인생의 광적인 관계에서 벗어난 신선함을 느꼈기 때문이고) , and I was looking for its opposite (나는 그와 정반대인 것(사림)을 찾고 있었다) . My ex, Tommy (내 전 남편인, Tommy는) , was an online playa who used the Net to stimulate his nads (성적흥분을 위해 인터넷을 사용하는 중독자였다) . He was the Don Juan of the web, the log-on lothario (그는 인터넷의 호색가이고 바람둥이였고) , the Adonis of AOL (휴가결근을 (자주하는) 어린 아이였다) .

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- jazzed : 활기찬 재미있는 / savvy : (실용적인) 지식, 상식, 요령 / nads : (속어) 고환 / Don Juan : (비격식) 호색한 / lothario : 바람둥이 / Adonis : 미소년 / AOL : absent over leave 휴가결근

I never had the feeling Tommy was completely loyal to me. Maybe it was my insecurity, or maybe it was because whenever he heard " You've got mail," he got an erection. In any case, whenever I was with him, I kept one eye on him and the other on his computer. One Saturday morning when Tommy was snoring like an Irishman on March 18, I tiptoed over to his computer and started reading.

I never had the feeling Tommy was completely loyal to me (난 Tommy가 나에게 전적으로 충실한 느낌을 갖은 적이 없다) . Maybe it was my insecurity (그것은 아마 나의 불감감일 수도 있거나) , or maybe (아마도) it was because whenever he heard " You've got mail," ("당신 메일이 왔네요"라는 얘기를 들을 땐 언제나,) he got an erection (그는 발기를 했기 때문일지 모른다) . In any case (어느 경우든) , whenever I was with him (내가 그와 함께 있을 땐 늘) , I kept one eye on him and the other on his computer (나의 한 눈은 그에게로 다른 한 눈은 그의 컴퓨터로 쏠렸다) . One Saturday morning (어느 토요일 아침) when Tommy was snoring like an Irishman on March 18 (3월 18일 Tommy는 아일랜드 사람처럼 코를 골고 있었을 때,) , I tiptoed over to his computer and started reading (나는 살금살금 그의 컴퓨터로 다가가 (내용을) 읽기 시작했다.) .

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- erection : 발기 / snore : 코를 골다 / tiptoe : 발끝으로 살금살금 걷다

There, among a smattering of missives from friends and family, was what I had suspected all along. Endless strings of correspondence with more than a dozen women "friends" who were clearly much more. I mean, I've had lots of friends before, but never once has a "friend" sent me pictures of her snatch. Okay, once, but I immediately deleted Barbara Walters from my friends list. But seriously, Tommy's in-box was full of-box! And breasts! There were more boobs than the cast of Jersey Shore.

 There, among a smattering of missives from friends and family (친구와 가족에게 온 약간의 편지 중에) , was what I had suspected all along (내가 줄곧 의심했던 것이 있었다.) . Endless strings of correspondence with more than a dozen women "friends" who were clearly much more (분명 친구 이상인 여러 여자들과의 끝없이 계속된 서신왕래) . I mean, I've had lots of friends before (나도 전엔 많은 친구들이 있었다.) , but never once has a "friend" sent me pictures of her snatch (하지만 한번도 자신의 성행위 그림을 나에게 보낸 친구는 없었다.) . Okay, once, but (좋아요, 한번쯤은, 그러나) I immediately deleted Barbara Walters from my friends list (나는 내 친구의 명단에서 Barbara Walters를 즉시 지워버렸다) . But seriously (하지만 심각하게) , Tommy's in-box was full of - box! (Tommy의 편지함은 무언가 가득차 있었다) And breasts (그리고 여자들은 젖가슴!) ! There were more boobs than the cast of Jersey Shore (Jersey Shore에 등장하는 배우들 보다는 더욱 많은 유방들) .

- Jersey Shore : 20대 이탈리안 미국인 남녀 8명의 사랑과 질투와 갈등을 담은 TV 프로그램

- a smattering of : 조금 / missive : 편지 / snatch : 잡아챔, 성교, 질, 여자

Before the advent of computers it used to be if you feared your boyfriend might cheat, you kept him home. Nowadays, that's the worst place he could be. Let me explain: If I'm dating a guy, he usually has quirky looks - more George Costanza than George Clooney. So when he's out, he flirts only with women who are attractive, and Brad Pitt-iful doesn't get far with that type. But online it's a whole different story. Any guy can pretend he still looks like his college rugby photo and suddenly he's the McDreamy of Match.com. What guy doesn't seem better when you can't smell him?

Before the advent of computers it used to be (컴퓨터가 출현하기 전) if you feared your boyfriend might cheat (만일 당신의 남자친구가 속이는 것 같다는 걱정을 든다면,) , you kept him home (당신은 그를 집을 나가지 못하게 했다.) . Nowadays (요즘엔) , that's the worst place he could be (그렇게하는 것은 그에겐 최악의 것이다.) . Let me explain (이유를 설명하죠) : If I'm dating a guy (만일 내가 한 남자와 데이트를 하고 있다면,) , he usually has quirky looks (그는 보통 변덕스런 모습을 갖는다) - more George Costanza than George Clooney (George Clooney 보단 George Costanza에 가까운) . So when he's out (그래서 그가 외출할 때) , he flirts only with women who are attractive (그는 매력적인 여성에게만 추파를 던진다.) , and Brad Pitt-iful doesn't get far with that type (Brad Pitt와 같은 사람은 그런 타입으로 발전하지 않는다.) . But online it's a whole different story (그러나 온라인 상에서 그것은 전혀 다른 얘기이다.) . Any guy can pretend (어떤 남자도 ~ 체할 수 있다) he still looks like his college rugby photo (자신은 여전히 자신의 대학 럭비사진을 보는) and suddenly he's the McDreamy of Match.com (그리고 갑짜기 그는 Match.com의 McDreamy같은 사람이다) . What guy doesn't seem better when you can't smell him? (당신이 그의 낌새를 채지 못할 때, 어느 남자 착해질까?)

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- quirky : 변덕스러운 / flirt : 추파를 던지다 / get far : (사태가) 발전하다

Don't get me wrong: I'm no prude. Taylor Swift I am not. Flirting is par of life that folks - married or single - can enjoy with no guilt, and checking people out online is not cheating any more than checking people out at the mall is. (Although, if you enjoy masturbating while checking people out, stick to doing it online. Mall security hates that.) However, banging someone you met online is cheating. If you're in a relationship, turn off the computer and love the one you're with. Remember the grass is always greener when you don't have to hear the sound of her annoying voice.

Don't get me wrong (저를 오해하지 마세요) : I'm no prude (저는 내숭쟁이가 아닙니다) . Taylor Swift I am not (Taylor Swift도 아니죠) . Flirting is par of life (추파는 삶의 일부입니다) that folks - married or single (결혼을 했던 안했던지 일반인이) - can enjoy with no guilt (죄책감없이 즐길 수 있는) , and checking people out online is not cheating any more than checking people out at the mall is (그리고 온라인 상에서 사람들을 살펴보는 것은 몰에서 사람들 유심히 보는 것 보다 더 부정행위는 아님니다.) . ( Although, if you enjoy masturbating while checking people out (당신이 사람들을 보면서 자위를 하든 안하든) , stick to doing it online (온라인 상에서 하세요) . Mall security hates that (몰 경비원이 싫어하니까요.) .) However (그러나) , banging someone you met online is cheating (온라인 상에서 만난 사람과 섹스를 하는 것은 부정행위입니다) . If you're in a relationship (만일 관계에 빠진다면) , turn off the computer and love the one you're with ((당장) 컴퓨터를 끄시고 옆에 있는 사람을 사랑하세요) . Remember the grass is always greener (풀은 언제나 더욱 푸르다른 것을 기억하세요) when you don't have to hear the sound of her annoying voice (당신이 그녀의 짜증스런 목소리를 들을 필요가 없을 때) .

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- prude : 내숭을 떠는 사람 / Taylor Swift : 가수 겸, 영화배우 / stick to : ~을 계속하다 / bang : (속어) 여자와 섹스를 하다, 쾅하고 치다[때리다] / be in a relationship : 누군가를 사귀다 /

Tommy's computer protocol was second only to his phone antics. In fact, Tommy may have been the first person to have the Tiger Woods texting plan - even on our dates. And it wasn't as though his texts were work-related. The only "jobs" he was texting about were blow, hand and rim.

 Tommy's computer protocol was second only to his phone antics (Tommy의 컴퓨터 통신은 단지 그의 전화의 괴상한 행동엔 부수적인 것이었다) . In fact (사실) , Tommy may have been the first person (Tommy는 첫번째 사람이었던 것 같다) to have the Tiger Woods texting plan (Tiger Woods 문자메지 전략을 갖은) - even on our dates (우리가 데이트하던 날 조차도) . And it wasn't as though his texts were work-related (그리고 그것은 마치 그의 문자메시지가 일과 연관된 것 같지는 않았다) . The only "jobs" he was texting about were blow, hand and rim (그가 문자 메시지를 보내고 있었던 유일한 일은 단지 섹스에 관한 것이었다) .

- may have + p.p : (과거의 긍정적인 추측) ~였던 것 같다 / as though : 마치 ~인 것 같은 / about 전치사의 목적어인 the only "jobs"가 주어로 도치됨

- antics : 괴상한 행동 / blow, hand and rim : 섹스

Texting on a date, much like exposing your genitals, is inappropriate unless it's a blind date, and by "blind date" I mean the other person is blind. If you're so bored on a date that you find yourself texting, buy yourself a TV dinner and masturbate. I'm not saying you can't peek at your phone to see if someone hotter wants a shot at you, but typing away like a coked-out Lindsay Lohan is just plain rude. The only way your fingers should be working that hard on a date is if your hands are under the table and up my skirt.

Texting on a date, much like exposing your genitals (자신의 성기를 노출시키는 것 같이 아주 유사한, 데이트날에 문자메시지를 보내는 것은) , is inappropriate (부적절하다) unless it's a blind date (그 날이 첫 소개팅이지 않으면) , and by "blind date" I mean ("소개팅"에 대해 내가 의미하는 것은) the other person is blind (상태편은 눈이 멀었다는 것이다) . If you're so bored on a date that you find yourself texting (만일 당신이 데이트 날에 너무 지루하다면 당신은 문자메시지를 보내는 자신을 발견한다) , buy yourself a TV dinner and (간단한 먹을 것을 사서 (집에가) 자위를 하라) masturbate. I'm not saying you can't peek at your phone to see (나는 당신이 ~인지 아닌지를 알기 위해서 당신의 휴대폰을 슬쩍 볼 수 없다는 것을 말하고 있는 것은 아니다) if someone hotter wants a shot at you (뜨거운 누군가가 당신과 섹스를 하고 싶~) , but typing away like a coked-out Lindsay Lohan is just plain rude. (코카인에 취한 Lindsay Lohan 처럼 문자메시지에 메달리는 것은 아주 무례한 행위이다.) The only way your fingers should be working that hard (데이트날에 당신의 손가락이 그렇게 열심히 일을 하고 있어야만 하는 유일한 길은) on a date is if your hands are under the table and up my skirt (당신의 손이 테이블 아래에 치마 위에 있을 때이다.) .

- so bored that 절 : 너무 지루해서 ~하다 / the only way (that) your fingers should be working ..... is if 구문

- genitals : 성기 / blind date : 서로 모르는 남녀의 데이트, 소개팅 / a TV dinner : 텔레비전을 보면서 간단히 먹는 식사 / masturbate : 자위하다 / want a shot at : ~와 섹스를 원하다 / type away : 전적으로 메시지를 입력하다 / coked-out : 코카인(마약)에 취한 /

I know what you're wondering: Did I marry Bill and live a technology-free life as though we were Amish? No. Bill wasn't just technologically retarded; he was also socially retarded. You'd think a guy without the electronic accoutrements of life would have developed interpersonal skills. But alas, Bill had as many friends in real life as he had on the World Wide Web - none. And he had a personality to match.

I know what you're wondering (이 글을 읽고 있는 당신이 궁금해하는 것을 안다) : Did I marry Bill and live a technology-free life (내가 Bill과 결혼하여 과학 기술에서 해방된 생활을 했는지?) as though we were Amish (우리가 아미쉬파처럼) ? No (아닙니다) . Bill wasn't just technologically retarded (Bill은 단지 기술적으로 뒤떨어진 사람은 아니었죠) ; he was also socially retarded (그는 또한 사회적으로 뒤떨어져 있었죠) . You'd think a guy without the electronic accoutrements of life (여러분은 생각하기로 전자장비에 묻혀 살지 않는 자는) would have developed interpersonal skills (대인관계 기술이 발전시켰을 것이라고) . But alas (하지만 천만에요) , Bill had as many friends in real life as he had on the World Wide Web (Bill은 인터넷상에서 그가 갖고 있는 만큼의 많은 친구들을 현실에서도 갖고 있었죠) - none (모두 쓰잘데 없는 친구들) . And he had a personality to match (그리하여 그는 취향에 맞는 한 친구만 갖고 있었죠) .

- as many B as A : A만큼 많은 B인

- Amish : 아미쉬파(현대 기술문명을 거부하고 소박한 농경생활을 하는 미국의 한 종교 집단) / retarded : 발달 능력이 떨어진 / accoutrement : 장비

In the end, I wound up with a guy who had a computer and a cell phone but who gave me his passwords on our third date. Take your diamonds and flowers and stick them up your twats, bitches. The password is the gift that keeps on giving. And I don't have to live in a tepee.

In the end (결국) , I wound up with a guy (나는 ~ 사람과 헤어졌죠) who had a computer and a cell phone but who gave me his passwords on our third (컴퓨터와 휴대폰은 갖고 있지만 세번째 데이트날에 나에게 자신의 비밀번호를 준) date. Take your diamonds and flowers and stick them up your twats, bitches (당신의 다이아몬드와 꽃을 가져가 그년에게 주세요) . The password is the gift that keeps on giving (비밀번호은 계속해서 주는 선물이죠.) . And I don't have to live in a tepee (그리하여 난 그런 소굴에서 살 필요가 없죠) .

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- wind up with : ~와 헤어지다 / stick up : ~을 내밀다(주다) / twats : (섹스 상대의) 여자 / bitch : (속어 못마땅함) (개 같은) 년 / tepee : (과거 북미 원주민들의) 원뿔형 천막

Chelsea White

You'll never guess who took this photo. None other than the beautiful woman looking back at you - Chelsea White, a 21-year-old British model turned photographer. “I started taking pictures about a year ago," she says. "I went out and bought a $3,200 camera - after which I thought, I'm going to have to stick with this now! Luckily, I got hooked." In the past 12 months she has shot several 2011 caldendars and a slew of magazine covers. Her subjects include U.K. starlets Lauren Pope and Imogen Thomas and 2007 Playmate of the Year Sara Jean Underwood. "I do shoot men, but I feel more comfortable photographing women. The girls feel comfortable with me too, which lets me get more out of them." See more of Chelsea's work at chelseawhite.co.uk.

You'll never guess who took this photo (누가 이 사진을 찍었는지 여러분을 전혀 모를겁니다.) . None other than the beautiful woman looking back at you (여러분을 뒤돌아 보고 있는 바로 그 아름다운 여성인) - Chelsea White, a 21-year-old British model turned photographer (Chelsea White는 21세의 영국 모델로 사진작가로 변모했습니다.) . “ I started taking pictures about a year ago," she says ("1년 전에 사진을 시작했어요"라고 그녀는 말한다.) . " I went out and bought a $3,200 camera (밖으로 나가 $3,200 카메라를 구입했죠) - after which I thought (나중에 내가 생각했던 카메라) , I'm going to have to stick with this now (지금 저는 앞으로도 이것을 꼭 간직할 거예요) ! Luckily (다행히도) , I got hooked (재미가 들렸어요.) ." In the past 12 months (지난 12개월 동안) she has shot several 2011 caldendars and a slew of magazine covers (그녀는 여러 2011달력과 많은 잡지표지를 찍었습니다.) . Her subjects include U.K. starlets Lauren Pope and Imogen Thomas and 2007 Playmate of the Year Sara Jean Underwood (그녀의 피사체는 영국의 신인배우 Lauren Pope과 Imogen Thomas 그리고 2007 Playmate of the Year Sara Jean Underwood를 포함합니다.) . " I do shoot men (저는 진정 남성들도 찍죠) , but I feel more comfortable photographing women (하지만 여성들을 찍을 때가 더 편안하요.) . The girls feel comfortable with me too (여성들도 나와 함께 있을 때 더 편안해 하죠.) , which lets me get more out of them (이것이 제가 여자들을 더 많이 선택하는 이유죠) ." See more of Chelsea's work at chelseawhite.co.uk (Chelsea 작품은 chelseawhite.co.uk 홈피에서 더 보실 수 있습니다.) .

- which I though (a $3,200 camera) after

- none other than ~ : 다름 아닌 ~인 / get hooked : ~에 빠지다 / a slew of : 많은